Remembering Cedric kitty

As some of you may know, my sweet 14 year old Cedric kitty was diagnosed with kidney disease a few months ago.  He did pretty well with subcutaneous fluids for a while, but eventually even that wasn't enough.  I knew that the time would come when I would have to make the very difficult decision to put him to sleep, but until this weekend he was still enjoying life and didn't seem to be in much pain.  Friday night things changed though.  I was in my craft room and I heard Cedric come upstairs.  I was just about ready to get up and give him a drink of water, like I usually did about that time, when he let loose with this meow that was filled with pain.  I'd never heard a meow like that from him before.  Calcifer and I both raced over to him and I gently gathered him up and stroked his head.  I looked deep into his eyes and asked "Is it time?" and he said yes.  He said he was tired, and in pain, and didn't want to fight any more.  And yes, I got all that from the look in his eyes.  I didn't want to act prematurely, so I told my husband that if he wasn't any better by Sunday I'd make an appointment with the vet for Monday.  Cedric steadily got worse as the weekend progressed.  He wouldn't (or couldn't) eat, drink, or use the litterbox, and he was having trouble walking.  But he didn't want to be alone.  Normally Cedric was a pretty independent cat and had no problem spending time by himself.  Now, though, he would struggle up the stairs trying to find me or my husband, rather than laying comfortably on the bed like normal.  So I ended up carrying him up and down the stairs and making him cozy little nests of blankets where ever we were at.  Poor Calicfer  knew there was something very wrong with his big brother.  Saturday night he curled up next to him on the bed and gave him a very gentle bath and warmed him up with his own body heat.  There was such a look of gratitude in Cedric's eyes, it made me cry.  He hadn't been able to bathe much on his own and he was normally a very clean cat.

 

Calcifer may be a rambunctious overgrown kitten, but he has a kindness and gentleness to him that touches my heart.  When Cedric was upstairs with us I asked Calcifer to sit with him while I did the dishes.  You can see him watching over his big brother here.  As long as someone was near him, Cedric was able to relax and get a little rest.

 

Sunday night, when I went to take a shower, both cats followed me into the bathroom.  That's not unusual for Calcifer, but Cedric never takes a shower with me.  This time he sat on the rug right next to the tub and didn't even mind the sound of the shower.  And Calcifer sat right next to him (until I was finished- then he wanted to jump in the tub and play in the water).  Cedric just kept getting weaker, and I promised him that I would ease his suffering on Monday.  He actually slept between my husband and I that night, something he hadn't done since he was a tiny kitten. I didn't sleep much- I kept gently petting him throughout the night, and checking to see of he was still breathing.  

The next day I took him to the vet, something he normally hated.  This time he didn't even have the strength to complain.  The vet and her assistant were very kind and compassionate and understanding.  I looked into Cedric's eyes as he slipped away, and I told him Ozzy and Ziggy and Frisky would be there to show him the way to the Rainbow Bridge, and there would be no more pain.  He went peacefully, almost gratefully.  It was hard to let go, but it would have been so much worse to allow him to suffer.  I made this little video about him the other day.

 

He had a good, happy life, full of love and fun friends.  I'm glad Calcifer had two years with Cedric.  I wish it could have been longer, but Cedric helped shaped who Calcifer is, and the kind of big brother he will be.  Cedric was one of those cats you just never have to yell at, because he never gets in trouble.  His good behavior rubbed off on Calcifer (at least to some extent).  Cedric was incredibly patient with Calcifer from the first moment they met, and they grew very close.  Calcifer's been looking for Cedric for the last few days.  Poor baby.  How do you explain old age, disease, and death to a cat?  I've been playing with him more to keep his mind occupied, and he's been even more cuddly than usual.  We'll be adopting another kitten pretty soon.  Calcifer really needs a friend, and it's just too quiet with only one cat around here.  We'll provide a safe, loving home to another little kitty in need, and I think that's a pretty good way to honor Cedric's memory.  He was a very special cat, and he'll never be forgotten.

-Michelle of CreativeCritters

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