The Phoenix Arises From the Ashes

The Phoenix is described as a bird with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends). It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self. In some stories, the new phoenix embalms the ashes of its old self in an egg made of myrrh and deposits it in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis (literally "sun-city" in Greek). It is said that the bird's cry is that of a beautiful song.

So what does that have to do with me?  In many ways I'm like that Phoenix.  My old life has been burned away and a brand new Me has arisen from the ashes.   In my old life I had an emotionally abusive husband who kept me isolated and depressed and stifled the person that I truly was.  I knew there was someone much brighter, stronger, and supremely joyful hidden within me, but she was never allowed to come out before.  Since I left my husband and moved across the country that person has been able to blossom.  I wake up happy every day.  I laugh often and loudly, without fear of judgement.  I share my joy with those around me and know they won't demean me for it, or try to take that joy away.  I finally feel as though I'm truly alive.  I've found my path and am following my Light, and life has never been better.  In the past my husband was always coming up with excuses not to do things reasons to avoid experiencing  life (so of course I couldn't do these things either).  Now when someone invites me to try something new I say "Sure, why not?"  And that attitude has lead me to some wonderful discoveries.  I love camping and hiking in the mountains- both brand new experiences for me.  I've even developed a taste for spicy food, which I never really tried before because my husband didn't like it.  Life is full of opportunities and possibilities, and I intend to take advantage of as many as possible!
Ever since I left my husband I had the idea to make a Phoenix necklace for myself.  I rarely make anything for myself, but I knew, deep down, that this was something I needed to do. I've become much more in touch with my instincts and intuition over the last several months, and have learned to follow those instincts. For months the ideas drifted around in my mind, but I waited to start sculpting.  I've learned that everything happens in it's own time, and that I would know when it was the right time to create this piece.  That time happened to come at 1am last week- LOL.  I was hit by an intense urge to sculpt my Phoenix, and I knew exactly how I wanted her to look.  And since I can now sculpt whenever I want to, without anyone complaining about it, I was up until 3am working on this one.  And the feeling while I was sculpting was absolutely euphoric.  The inspiration was intense.  The flames that are the bird's tail were inspired by a camping trip I took a week or so earlier.  I sat by the camp fire (which I made) and watched the full moon rise over the mountains in front of me and was filled with such emotion and an amazingly powerful feeling of gratitude.  I watched the flames of the fire twist and dance like a living thing: green and blue at the hot center, then red, orange, and yellow at the outer edges.  I've always been fascinated by fire, and I can sit for hours gazing at the flames.  You see, there's just so much more to this necklace than a physical pendant.  The emotion embedded in this piece can't be quantified.  This necklace represents my strength and ability to maintain my true self, even after years of hiding that self behind protective walls.  If my husband had seen this part of me he would have destroyed it as quickly as possible.  I am a happy, energetic, creative, loving person who is filled with the joy of life.  And now I'm surrounded by people who appreciate that person and accept me for who I really am.  It may have taken 37 years, but I've finally got it right and am doing exactly what I should be doing, where I should be doing it ;)

And here are the work in progress pictures of my Phoenix necklace.

I started with a wire armature to add strength to the wings.

Then I sculpted the body and head, using a bright blue glass bead for the eyes and adding feather around the eye and on the top of the head.

Next I sculpted feathers for the wings, textured them, and applied gold and red Pearl Ex powders for an iridescent sheen.

I added a row of smaller feathers and applied red Pearl Ex.

To finish I sculpted the flaming tail and textured the rest of the body.  The tail, body, and head are colored with blue, blue-green, red, and gold Pearl Ex powders, mimicking the colors of actual flames.

After the Phoenix pendant was baked  I sealed it with two coats of high gloss glaze and attached it to a gold necklace.

Thanksgiving is next week, and when I think of all the things I have to be thankful for this year it brings me to tears.  My life isn't perfect, and it probably never will be, but that's OK.  I can handle whatever challenges are thrown at me, and I can do it with my head held high knowing I am being the best person I can be.  I've risen from those dark, smothering ashes and am spreading my newly found wings.

~Michelle of CreativeCritters

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Gramma's back home again

Gramma's back from the nursing home!
Those of you who know me may have heard that Gramma has been in the nursing home for some time now (just about a month). At the end of January she went to the hospital with bronchitis, then was moved to the nursing home for her rehabilitation. She worked really hard at her therapy with the goal of becoming strong enough to come home. Tuesday was her first day back home, and she did pretty good. It was hectic, but she didn't seem to get too stressed out. We had a new hospital bed delivered to replace her very old Craftmatic Adjustable bed. The hardest part was taking apart the old bed. Those things have a ton of screws and bolts! The new bed is smaller, and much easier for me to move around it. The delivery guy had it put together and set up in no time. It has locking wheels, so I can move it whenever I need to. It also seems to be easier for her to get in and out as well. Then the medical supply company dropped off a machine for oxygen, which I think will be temporary. She's never been on oxygen before, and it was just prescribed to use at night. Gramma said she hasn't noticed any difference when she's not using it. When the nurse came to the house and checked her oxygen it was 97%, and Gramma had me turn the machine off about 9am, so she had over 5 hours without any additional oxygen. The nurse said if Gramma felt she didn't need it, she didn't have to use the machine. Gramma's mood and attitude are pretty good too, which is nice to see. It's good to see her smile and hear her laugh. We'll have all sorts of nurses, aides, and therapists coming to the house for a while. So far they've all been very nice and answered all our questions and concerns. I was so proud of Gramma for getting herself in and out of bed today (I could see how bad she wanted to do it by herself). She also walked up and down the hall (with the walker) about 5 times. I hope she remains this motivated. I think it will help that spring is coming and she can sit out in the living room and see the sunshine, animals, and flowers. Winter in NE Ohio is enough to depress anyone!
I just wanted to update everyone on how Gramma was doing. I may not be able to spend as much time online now that she's home, but don't worry, I'm still here!
-Michelle of CreativeCritters

I'm tired!

I've been incredibly busy lately. Gramma came home from the hospital Friday, and was doing pretty good until about 3am when she got a bad dizzy spell. She has something called Labrynthitis, and gets incredibly dizzy and nauseous sometimes. Then on top of that she got a bout of diarrhea, so I was up with her all night long. She's still pretty weak, and has spent the last few days in bed, but is slowly regaining her strength. She does try hard though. She does the best she can to help me out. I gave her a sponge bath yesterday and she said she felt like a new woman. They really didn't take very good care of her in the hospital. She's starting to get her appetite back, as well, which will go a long way in regaining her strength. The nurse's aid came today and gave her another bath, and she'll be coming twice a week for a while. Tomorrow the physical therapist should come, and maybe we'll get an idea of exactly where Gramma stands, strength wise. I haven't gotten much sleep since she came home though. I need to help her to the bathroom, and she takes a diuretic, so that's a lot of trips during the night. I've learned how to organize all her medications, and how to test her blood sugar, and she even "allowed" me to pay her bills and balance her check book. For Gramma, that's showing a LOT of trust in me. Of course I showed her everything I was doing so she felt assured it was all done right.
When I went out to get the paper this morning I realized that the grass in the front yard had gotten REALLY tall, so I figured I'd better get it mowed before somebody complained to the city and we got fined. Things have been so crazy lately I hadn't even noticed how much it had grown. Then of course there's always housework, dishes, cooking, clothes washing, cleaning litterboxes, and all that other fun stuff which never goes away on it's own. I do my best to keep the house as clean as I can. I don't like a dirty house. Granted, the downstairs (where my husband and I live) is more cluttered than usual, but I'll let that slide a bit in order to keep the upstairs (where Gramma lives) clean. If only I could get my husband to do some housecleaning. Ah well, a girl can dream.
Of course there's a lot more that's been going on, but I pulled a muscle in my shoulder while getting Gramma up, so I think I'm about done typing for now. I'm ready for bed, but I've still got plenty to do- no rest for the wicked!
-Michelle of CreativeCritters